Chased by Airheads
by Irish Luck
Summary: Draco gets the unfortunate luck of being disguised as Harry Potter and chased by his fan club. Will he get captured by the members with the long fake fingernails and high shrilly voices, or does Ginny help get him to safety?


Hey all!  Just had this random idea for a one-shot with hints of G/D.  Just to warn you all, it was a completely random idea!  Enjoy the story!

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Chased by Airheads

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_Dammit__, where are my friends when I need them?  Harry thought to himself as he rounded a corner at a dead sprint.  He was being chased throughout Hogwarts by the most annoying girls in the school who happened to decide that he, Harry Potter, was the object of their affection.  Yes, the blonde bimbos, ditzy redheads, brunette wannabes, and the black-haired airheads were currently lifetime members of the Harry Potter Fan Club._

'HARRY RIGHT' a voice screamed in his head and he immediately dodged right into yet another empty corridor.  You see, all was not lost for Harry for he had a spy in the club that, although the members had found out who it was, was currently in disguise.  She (for it had to be a she, Harry was not gay) would chase him with the club and direct him so as to avoid the possibility that he would be caught by his admirers.  I guess you could say that she had an ingrained map of Hogwarts in her head.  This is not entirely impossible for her brothers were expert pranksters in their day.  We are talking about Ginny, the youngest Weasley and girl supposedly most infatuated with Harry Potter.  She had been found to be a spy for Harry during the last chase when she smiled instead of frowned when Harry got away.  It was stupid really when you think about it.  What good spy is discovered because of a simply smile at the wrong time?  I suppose you could say that The Dream Team underestimated the intelligence of the members of the club (an easy thing to do when you see who is apart of it).

            'LEFT' came the voice again and Harry finally found himself in a sparsely populated hallway.  He glanced around frantically at the people there, trying to assess who best to approach for assistance.  He saw Malfoy, Draco Malfoy not the elder one, in a dark corner and smirked evilly.  Perfect.  He rushed towards him, hurrying because he knew danger was not far behind.

            "Malfoy, you like being chased by girls right?"

            Malfoy looked at Harry strangely, surprised that Harry would even attempt to talk with him.  "Sure I guess, I mean what guy wouldn't?"  Harry smirked inwardly at that.

            "Just making sure, I'm going to make your dreams come true.  Just stay still a sec."  Harry pulled out his wand and muttered something under his breath.  "Okay done.  Malfoy I have just used an illusion spell to make you look like me.  I suggest you run."

            "Wha…" before he could get a word out, Harry had ducked into an empty classroom.  Malfoy looked around in confusion as the sound of pounding feet could be heard coming towards him.  He looked up.  "Oh shit," he muttered before taking off like a bat out of hell.  There were girls chasing him, millions of them.  The kind with excessively curly hair, tons of makeup and high shrilly voices.  Malfoy hated shrilly voices.  Hadn't he been punished enough when he had to take Pansy to the Yule ball in his fourth year?  He didn't want any repeats of that incident.

            Meanwhile, in the empty classroom, Harry took pity on his worst enemy.  Nobody deserved to be pursued by girls with high shrilly voices and long, fake fingernails, not even Malfoy.  He used his special connection with Ginny, the spy, to update her on what was happening.

            'Ginny, come in.  Come in Ginny.'

            'Yeah what is it Harry?'

            'Umm… I'm not the person you are chasing anymore Ginny.'

            'So you used the illusion spell eh?  It seems to have worked like a charm.  That's a relief, at least now I can finally stop this stupid nonsense…'

            'Umm…. See Gin, that's the thing.  You're chasing Malfoy and I kinda feel bad for him.  Nobody should have to go through that torture, not even him.  So I was wondering…'

            'Say no more wonderboy.  I have a feeling I know where this is going.  Let's just say Malfoy'll owe me big time.'

            'You're the best Gin.'

            'You're too kindhearted Harry.'

            'I know, I'll beat him up later.'

            And with that the connection between them was severed.

*~*~*~*~*~*

'MALFOY'

Said person jerked in surprise and looked around in shock as he continued his mad dash to rid himself of the terrors behind him.

'Ah, I see you have heard me.  Good morning Malfoy, I'll be your tour guide this morning.  Welcome to the girl chasing tour where you get the good fortune of being chased by a bunch of airheads, bimbos, etc.  I, Ginny Weasley, resident spy of the Harry Potter Fan Club, will now direct you in the best route to avoid any major mishaps, namely being captured…'

'Just get on with it Weasley,' came the biting reply.

'Fine, LEFT.'

'Wha-?'

'LEFT NOW!'

Malfoy obediently skidded left and dashed down this new corridor.

'At the end of this hall you will take a right, another immediate right and you will dash into the empty classroom on the left where I will proceed to take off the illusion spell.  You will proceed to walk out of the classroom when you notice a bunch of idiots wandering about yelling Harry's name mournfully.  You will then tell them to shut up and bug off because you were studying or something like that.  Got it?'

'I think so…'

'Good… now turn.'

'What?'

'You're at the end… TURN'

Draco skidded to the right, right again and dashed into the indicated classroom.  Within a few seconds he felt a strange tickling sensation course through him and knew that the illusion spell was no longer in effect

'You owe me,' said Ginny's voice.

'Yeah, yeah,' he replied.

Another few seconds went by and….

"Harry!  Oh Harry dear where are you?"

"Harry my love, don't you like us?"

"HARRY!"

_That's my cue_, Draco thought and proceeded to head out of the classroom.

"What the hell is going on here?" Draco asked as he came within view of the hysteric girls.

"Well you see…."

"Did I say that I wanted an answer?" Draco drawled, causing the speaker to squeak in fear and disappear into the crowd.  He smirked in satisfaction.   "What a poor excuse of humans you lot are.  Don't you have any sense whatsoever in those miniscule brains of yours?  You are all idiots, do you think Potter even wants your attentions?  Go find something else to do with your pathetic lives for I can guarantee you that you won't get anywhere with your talent, or lack thereof, for chasing boys.  And Weasley, I'm surprised at you.  I thought your brother was the only idiot in the family but you have proved me wrong again…"  Draco trailed off as he realized that the bimbos were no longer paying any attention whatsoever to him.  They were all turning with excruciating slowness to look at the youngest Weasley who had an expression of absolute horror on her face.  She reached up to touch her hair, found it to be normal and panicked.  It seems the polyjuice potion had worn off.  "Oh shit," she muttered and took off.

'I HATE YOU,' was the departing message that Ginny left to Draco as she fled.

"WEASLEY GET BACK HERE!  YOU LET HARRY GET AWAY AGAIN!  HOW DARE YOU!  WE'RE GOING TO GET YOU SO BAD…" the unnaturally high shrilly voices trailed off as the proceeded to give chase to Ginny, who had helped their prized possession escape their clutches yet again.

Draco looked on in shock as the entire group of girls disappeared in pursue of Ginny Weasley.  And he was just getting into his tirade of insults too.  He shrugged and was about to head for the Slytherin Common Room when he remembered something Ginny had said. _'You owe me._'  If there was one thing that Draco disliked, it was being in debt to someone or something.  It was like they had some control over you until you repaid your debt.  Draco hated the thought that anyone else other that him would have control over him.  _Well, she did save me from the tortures of the high voices, and I am the one who revealed her in the first place, might as well help her…_

'Weasley?' Draco called as he took off running.

'What the hell do you want; I'm a little busy at the moment.'

'I know, it's just, well, I've got a plan…'

 'This had better be good.  What is it?'

'Just get outside, I'll meet you there.'

*~*~*~*~*~*

_He really better have some sort of plan, the slimy git.  Honestly, revealing me like that how could he?  If I get stuck outside and he isn't there, I'm doomed.  The bimbos are sure to block the entrance with their sheer numbers; I'll never be able to get back in!_  Ginny thought as she dashed down the halls towards the Hogwarts Entrance.  She ducked left, then right, avoiding the seemingly stationary people wandering around the entrance and dashed outside just as someone was shutting the door.  _Here goes nothing, she thought as she sprinted across the open field in front of the Quidditch Pitch.  __Where the hell is he?  She glanced behind her; the Harry Potter Fan Club was right behind her.  It seems they had managed to gain on her during her desperate dash towards the entrance.  Suddenly, she felt a strong pair of hands grab her around the waist and she was air born.  She turned to look at her savior and came face to face with none other than Draco Malfoy._

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks."

"No problem," he replied and set her in front of him on his broom.  They hovered a good 30 feet above the raging posse below.  "So how long are they going to stay there?"

"You'd be surprised at their stamina," Ginny answered.

"So what are we going to do while we wait?"

Ginny grinned evilly and pulled out her wand, "How about some makeovers?"

Draco smirked in return and proceeded to pull out his own wand from his pocket.  "I think neon green hair and pink eyes with purple polka-dotted skin for that one there…"

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A/N: Hope you all like it.  As I said before, completely random.  Anyways, thanks for reading!  It's much appreciated!  Review please!

~Irish


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